The Best, the Worst, and the Average
Three fears loom large in the minds of budding authors: the fear of being the worst, of failing so spectacularly that it leaves a permanent scar, the fear of being just average—another cog in the machine, and even the fear of being the best. Strangely, the fear of being the best can be paralyzing, setting the bar so high that it instills a fear of your own future works. It’s not the fears themselves that are the issue; it’s succumbing to their tyranny and letting them halt your journey before it even begins.
Greetings, Neophyte. Today, we delve into a serious topic—fear and doubt, familiar companions on the authorial journey, especially for newcomers. In the initial stages, fear becomes the ultimate adversary.
Let’s start with an overview. Don’t worry, Neophyte, the formality is just for emphasis, as this is indeed a serious matter. In the beginning, you sit down with a head full of fantasies and dreams—the fresh face and clear eyes of a neophyte. However, it doesn’t take long, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, for those three fears to sneak into your mind like poison slowly seeping into your thoughts. Confidence is a rare commodity in those early stages. Few possess unwavering certainty in their paths, and even fewer enjoy the luxury of a robust support network, particularly in this age of fragmentation and isolation, where despite unlimited connectivity, many aspects of life feel atomized. In solitude, fear festers and grows, and in the darkness, shadows appear mightier than they truly are. Fear is but a small creature casting a disproportionately large shadow, distorted by the eye of the mind and our own subjectivity.
The list of fears you’ll encounter is nearly endless. In these humble words, let me shed light on three common ones. While they may not be the most prevalent, they are undeniably part of the more common fears.
Being the worst is perhaps the most widespread, Neophyte. It’s the culprit behind stagnation, the force that resists change, the one that prevents us from daring. Understanding the origin of this fear is a challenge, and I won’t claim to comprehend it entirely. When and how did we become so self-conscious? When and how did we forget how to try? This fear might be the reason you’ve hesitated to sit down and write despite the intention to do so. It’s likely the reason you’ve kept your writing a secret. Perhaps there’s a valid reason—those around you might not understand your creative pursuits, whether out of malice or simply because they come from a different perspective. The specifics don’t matter; what does is that you feel alone, and in that isolation, you fear letting your creations see the light of day.
This is usually the part where someone would say, in a reassuring tone, “Don’t worry, give it a try, everything will be okay in the end.” But I’ve been on this earth long enough to know that this isn’t necessarily true. Yes, things might turn out okay if you dare to try, dare to change. While much can be achieved alone, true improvement requires something to bounce off, something to sharpen your mind and capabilities. So, what if you are truly the worst? What if you end up being crushed, and your reputation is ruined? Well, what reputation? You’ve just started. You might be giving yourself too much importance, attaching too much relevance to your existence in other people’s lives. What your fear of being the worst prevents you from seeing are the questions that can help you climb out of that hole. Ask yourself: How is this the worst? In which areas do I need improvement? What are my strengths? How can I balance things out?
Being the worst, Neophyte, is hardly a death sentence. As long as you draw breath, there is time; as long as there is will, there is a way. Brace for impact every time you put anything into the world, absolutely anything. With willingness and intelligence, you can turn that negativity into a positive force for yourself.
Now, let’s discuss the second fear: The Average. What if what I do just becomes background noise? You want to succeed; you want to stand out! You aspire to be unique! To this, I say, do you also want to control the lottery with your mind? Be real, Neophyte. You can write what you can write at any given point in time, and you can never control whether it will stand out. Perhaps you’ll gather an audience and grow from there, but anything beyond that is nothing but smoke merchant sales pitch. Focus on writing and learn from your writing to become better (and from others, of course).
Lastly, the fear of being the Best. Why so confused, Neophyte? Many people fear this—self-sabotaging wouldn’t be a thing otherwise. I won’t delve into the psychology of this; I’m not remotely qualified, and it would be a disservice. It is true, though. Perhaps you’re too critical, maybe you’re just a perfectionist, or you’re looking at the right thing at the right time for the right reason. Whatever the specific reason, it all boils down to fear. There are other reasons that go beyond my understanding; you fear what you can do. Maybe you’ve become too accustomed to your station, and on a subconscious level, you fear anything beyond that. Or perhaps you dread setting the bar so high for yourself that you’re terrified of never being able to surpass it again, and everything else becomes a disappointment. Here I am, Neophyte, to tell you that you’re being irrational. Do you even realize what you’re doing? Are you aware of what your mind is forcing you to do? No? Well, you are projecting thoughts onto the consequences of results that haven’t happened yet, if they are going to happen at all.
In the end, many of our fears stem from the same intention—trying to achieve a false sense of security in things that have yet to happen. This is silly; the reason for doing so might be serious, but it’s still silly. Sit down, relax, and take a minute to see how silly this is from a distance, Neophyte—silly and stupid. I know you’re better than this, and if you aren’t, what in God’s good green Earth is stopping you from being better?
Go, walk outside, give it a serious, honest thought (those take practice too), and then we will reconvene tomorrow.
Until next time.
